How To Become Your Biggest Fan
By Olabimpe Akinbinu
Do you ever get the feeling that people don’t like you? Have you ever heard it said that people do not feel appreciated? It’s probably the most common workplace complaint.
It is a universal human desire to be recognized and thanked for our contributions. A genuine “thank you” goes a long way. In our personal lives, we may feel unappreciated by our family members. Even friends and acquaintances can appear to have become complacent with our friendship at times. When dealing with our bosses and coworkers, we frequently demonstrate a notable disregard in our work.
The truth is that no matter how much we try, other people cannot completely fill the void in our lives; they can only supplement what we do but cannot complete us. What happens when the people we rely on to make us feel worthy and complete aren’t available? What happens if they leave? Or what if they don’t understand or like what we’ve worked so hard for? What happens when we are alone and must rely on ourselves for pick-me-ups and encouragement?
Most people, you see, are unaware of the concept of being their biggest fan, of being more self-aware of their accomplishments. We are so focused on receiving support, validation, and meeting the expectations of others. We ask ourselves, “Would my friends like it?” and “Would my family like it?” Will society accept my decision? Is what I’m doing good enough?
Then it happens: one negative comment, or not ‘enough cheers’ on something we do, say, or post, and we feel low and unworthy. And we forget how hard we’ve worked to get to where we are because we didn’t meet the expectations that society, family, and friends have set for us.
We forget that the only person whose opinion truly matters is our own.
We begin to feel frustrated, stagnant, and unmotivated, as if we are far from our goals and everyone else is doing better than us. We turn to social media and become envious of how many accolades others are receiving and wonder why everyone else appears to be doing better than us. If we pause for a moment to consider what distinguishes us from those we believe are succeeding, we will notice that the one quality we lack is confidence. We will never achieve our goals if we believe we are not good enough or worthy of them. It is critical that we do not allow our lack of confidence or our intense need for validation to prevent us from achieving our objectives.
Now, how do we get on track to becoming our biggest fan?
- Discover and understand what is important to you.
- Seek out and engage with things that inspire you.
- Identify few people in your life whose opinions should be important to you and avoid people and conversations that drain you
- Stop comparing yourself to others and don’t be too hard on yourself.
- Set realistic goals for yourself and commit to meeting those goals.
- Learn to be alone and enjoy your own company so you don’t need to rely on others for approval.
- Believe in yourself and don’t be afraid to show off your accomplishments, no matter how minor you believe they are.
The best thing about being human is that we are always open to new experiences and opportunities for growth. Nothing and no one will stand in your way if you decide that what you want is more important than what you have now or what others think.
So, the next time someone compliments you, say thank you and enjoy it. And on the days when no one does or you receive negative feedback, look in the mirror with confidence and compliment yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments, encourage yourself, and be your biggest fan.
Don’t forget to leave a comment.
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