“Oh, you are an adult now. That is why you can talk back to me. Well, not in my house. When you move out, you can have your freedom to do whatever you like!”
And so Azizat moved out of her parents’ house after she had had enough of her mother yelling at her. She was 21 years old now. Why couldn’t they see that she was an adult now and should answer to herself alone? She finally got freedom.
Her friend Chi Baby, was happy to receive her. But Chi Baby lived with two other girls and the mini flat was beginning to look too small for 4 girls. Still, it was fun. They gossiped into the night about how men are scum, which girl down the estate bought bone straight hair and whose Aso Ebi they were wearing to the next wedding. Aah…so much fun.
The mini flat in Lekki cost a little fortune, but the girls didn’t have to worry because it was being paid by Chi Baby’s uncle. No one knew how true that was as long as they didn’t have to pay rent. But Chi Baby and her uncle had a fallout and they had to split the rent. It was still too much for Azizat to handle especially since her salary was just 100k monthly. When the girls began to fuss over everything, Azizat knew it was time to leave.
But how would she take care of rent, feeding and the bills that come with them? Right then and there, she understood that with freedom came with a cost and loads of responsibilities. Instead of going back home and crying to Mama, she decided to become better at adulting. It was a process and she was going to learn every single step of the way.
“Have you come to gloat, Madam Adult?” Her mum poked and laughed as they hugged six months later.
“It is not easy, but I’m getting there. I can share with you what I learnt along the way while trying to become a better adult.” And so Azizat shared her lessons.
Stop waiting for handouts
Your friends have their problems, they can’t always cover you. Do not depend on what men or parents can give to you. Work and earn your keep and if alongside you get gifts, that’s all good.
Live within your means
If you cannot afford to buy Aso Ebi without going broke, then don’t. You do not have to live in Lekki, there is Ogba. Your house rent shouldn’t take up more than three months of your monthly income. Do not spend more than you earn.
Listen before you speak
To make headways in life, people want to know that you will listen and implement their ideas. If it’s always about you, they’ll get bored quickly and move on.
Every day, learn something new. Even something as simple as a word. As we develop in skills, interactiveness, certifications and attain other valuables, we grow and stay trendy with society. In other words, you won’t be mediocre.
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If there is a fault, do not look for who to blame. Have you ever heard this… ‘If you were born poor, it’s your parent’s fault, if you die poor, it is your fault’? Instead of looking to point fingers, do something to change the situation.
Develop a passion for something worthwhile
Adults shouldn’t be stuck on only Big Brother town or what Kim Kardashian wore today. Your passion becomes your driving force, propelling you towards what you want to achieve in life.
Your social media is not a vendetta
Adulting means you don’t care how many lovely pictures Chi Baby puts up, you are not on a revenge mission to best your friends. Instead, your page should sell your market and define you.
If you let everyone else advise you, you will end up not having a mind of your own and taking wrong turns you probably won’t like in the end. When you try to please everyone, you end up with nothing.
Azizat mum nodded and smiled thinking how much her daughter had matured. Adulting is not the easiest thing to do, but it helps shape the future.
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