What is an Owambe without a Naija Mother? They are full of dramas and many opinions. They can be fun, loving, yet become embarrassing in a split second. Does this mean we love them any less? Of course not.
Here is what attending an Owambe with your mother can look like;
1. Finding the perfect suitor
‘Which one do you like? That one looks very responsible’. Mama’s looking about like hawks, would say. If you attend a wedding and you have a mum like this, be sure to have suitors lined up for a-wooing. You can either enjoy the attention or feel humiliated and hide in the toilet.
2. Let the job interview begin
All the big men and women will have to be introduced to you. If you graduated with a first-class, be sure she’d be singing it to anyone who cares to listen. Your future is set…haha! Prepare for the networking of your life.
3. Frown at the scathingly dressed females
Humph! She would be turning up her nose, hissing and frowning at girls showing sexy legs or backside. God help you that she doesn’t bring her friends along, or you will be branded and avoided like the rest of them.
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4. Refuses to eat until the couple apologizes for the delay
Then, there are the Naija mothers who know the couple and expect to be treated specially. If food dares pass without the server noticing her, they are going to be hearing all about how close she is to the bride or groom and how she carried him/her like her own. Only the intervention of the couple themselves would calm her down. Show off.
5. Dance like she doesn’t just care
They came to the party and not even your ‘Mummy, stop it, you’re embarrassing me’ can stop it. Na you go dey shame because they are going to wave it like they don’t just care.
6. Starts choosing your wedding colour and tells everyone you’re next
While she’s looking around, her eyes will start imagining how your day will be. Who will MC the wedding? What should Aso Ebi maker be patronized? She has to choose a wedding colour better than this one and so on. Darling, your wedding date has already been selected whether you know it or not.
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7. Compares the cheap ‘thank you for coming’ gifts to her expensive present
After buying a non-stick pan for N25,000, the only ‘thank you for coming’ gift she gets from the couple is a hand fan and face towel? She would lament from the wedding venue up until you get back home. If you’re lucky, she will stop talking about it by night. If not, you will wake up with her wishing she had bought a glass cup instead.
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