Are you doubting?

So, there was this day I was stopped by a soldier, well not directly but when a soldier stops a car or bus, everyone’s going to be in on the punishment. Immediately he stopped us, I remembered my NYSC Orientation camp, and the amazing characters I met there. I also remembered the very weird phrases the soldiers used and this soldier stopping me now just used one of them. When a soldier, especially a Nigerian soldier tells you he/she wants to clear your doubt, it’s very wise to start begging.

In NYSC Orientation Camp, I had a friend called Fortune, but on this fateful day, he was very unfortunate. We didn’t know it was a rule, or was it? Anyway, in my orientation camp, it was required that while eating, one should not wear the NYSC Cap. In a way, it was disrespectful to wear the cap and eat. Now here’s the funny thing about NYSC Camp, there are a lot of things you’re never told directly but you just have to know. This was apparently one of them. Another one is never argue with a soldier, if not, they would clear your doubts.

So here we were, three otondos in Orientation camp that just wanted to have lunch after a boring 5 hour public lecture. We got to Mami market and there was no need to place an order, we were regulars so the woman knew what to do. We talked for a bit for about 10 minutes before the order came through. As we talked, two of us casually removed our caps but maybe the gist didn’t’ get so intense for Fortune as he still had his cap on. Then food was served and it was time to dig in.

Just then, we saw a soldier walking down the aisle beside where we were sitting. At this time, we didn’t even know it was a rule not to wear the NYSC cap to eat, but when you see a soldier approaching you, it’s only wisdom to check everything to make sure you were “not doubting”. Fortune however was so focused on engaging in deeper conversations with his meal that he didn’t see the soldier come towards us. Immediately the soldier got to the table, he said “All of you, stand up”. As we had learnt, you don’t think twice before obeying but Fortune was “hungry” E go soon Chop belleful.

As we (the other friend and I) stood up, and Fortune delayed for about 5 seconds, the soldier immediately noticed and said, “Evil Spirit, are you doubting?” We didn’t know the gravity of that question until that evening. Fortune tried to respond when the women that sold food to us splashed some water on his face that he should shut up! It was however too late. He had already doubted. This soldier made Fortune sit on the floor in the middle of the market and wave to everyone who passed. I remember his face and the humiliation that filled it, it was so embarrassing.

From that day of sitting in the middle of the hot sun and waving everyone that passed smiling till today, anytime Fortune wants to eat, he doesn’t doubt as he would subconsciously check if anything was on his head and I’m pretty sure his children would also never doubt.