A group of friends hanging out outwards

Above The Social Drama

By Munura Maihankali

If you ever desire merriment and escape from the daily hassles of life then the social setting – particularly an exotic collection of commoners is the perfect company you should seek, for there you would find laughter. Be rest assured that in the company of persons from diverse backgrounds and culture; humour, follies, deception and fun dominates this atmosphere. Many a time in such a social setting, I have had several reasons to burst out laughing at the hypocrisy which people practice; the acting and role-playing; presenting themselves more noble, pious, hardworking, disciplined and altruistic than is actually the reality.

These funny behaviours in most instances have compelled me to channel my laughter into intense sobs and coughs, sometimes I would excuse myself from their company in order to laugh aloud freely while delighting in their follies, hilarious behaviours, parody and trickery. I dare not incur the wrath of the blatant liar or actor by debunking his views or laughing at his tales and follies; else there will be hell to pay as I might become the target of his malice and antagonistic tendencies. During one of these joyous moments of mine, I came to ponder the blatant truth: that I have also been hypocritical- a sheer culprit of the offence which I accuse others. This reality has dissolved my self-illusion of been pious, noble and saintly. This experience has been accompanied by my critical observation of people in a social setting which has led me to the inference that: “Humans are basically deceptive and sentimental in their assessments and decisions”; and this viewpoint is backed by the following instances.

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During my teenage days, one member of our clique of friends will often oppose and vehemently disagree with the viewpoint of a particular comrade, not because the latter’s argument was untruthful or lacking facts but because of the former’s sentimental appeal in disfavour of the anchor.  And Just when the same argument would be presented by a different party,  the opposer would swiftly pledge his affirmation and fervent solidarity of the same view. 

In our contemporary world, you might have observed the same dynamic at play in the work-world, politics, the culture and society-at-large. You could identify numerous instances where important decisions that could alter our culture for collective betterment and advancements get determined by sentimental appeals rather than facts, truths and rationality. 

This rot and backward trend are no obscured facts neither is it news as everyone has had a stint of the negative impact of the mentality of sentiments and stereotype on our individual and collective lives. It is in this regard that the First City Monument Bank (FCMB) has placed an open call for writers to create thoughtful awareness, positivity and proffer solutions to many a psychological ailment that has hampered our progress as a people;  indeed a nod of approval to FCMB for setting such a pace towards positivity. 

In my opinion, The first step towards reversing this negative and detrimental mentality is a shift in focus from lamentations and blame-shifting to the basic little steps that will alter one’s psychology for the better.  This implies adopting the perfect frame of mind which is  RESOURCEFULNESS. Resourcefulness entails the ability to cope with difficult situations and thrive in it via stoicism; it entails adopting a mindset that opts to make the most use of resources obtainable in any situation, to keep advancing with the mentality of never giving up in the quest of self-

development. In this context, the scope of resources is not limited to material, funds or human connections; whereas it encompasses the most potent resources which are ubiquitous and available to everyone no matter your social class, educational background and ethnicity; these resources include: energy, time, skills, motivation, talent and idiosyncrasies. 

The aforementioned resources are never a function of money, connection or political power; and it is how a person utilizes them that determines the quality of life we get to experience.

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Let’s analyze the following scenario: A teenage girl in the rural axis of Nigeria, who has not been able to continue her education due to the suspension of school functions with respect to the Covid 19 pandemic. Now, she must spend her days either doing chores and participating in the learning of skills and crafts like writing, speaking skills, tailoring, fashion, cooking and baking etc. or she might choose to be idle and make her self prone to several vices. If she opts for the first scenario, her energy, time and inclinations are used in the most productive manner, hence she has no time to blame on hardship or the government but rather she keeps improving intellectually or craft-wise by the day. If in the extreme she must observe isolation or lack the basic resources to practice her craft; then something she could do to advance herself include: studying, fitness and exercise, speech practice to improve her eloquence. She could equally get help from scholarships, competition such as the FCMB writing challenge, friends, clubs or societies which she belongs to help with funding or material resources.

The above approach to self-development is timeless and universal which implies that no matter your age, status, circumstance or current condition; there is always some sort of action you could execute to advance you bit by bit towards becoming a better and more fulfilled person if only you could adopt the mentality of positivity – “TURN SHIT INTO SUGAR”, as the writer Robert Greene puts it. This shift in perspective, if adopted by individuals is sure to decimate the debilitating effects of psychological dependence, stereotype, nepotism, irrationality to a high degree which for so long have kept us down by undermining excellence, truths, facts and rationality.

8 Comments

  1. Atiku Yvonne Hikon Reply

    Great piece here Munura Maihankali..
    Having a vision in life is one of the ways in achieving our goals in life. It is important we have a vision, make it plain ( written out) and pursue it.
    I’ve learnt alot from this piece. May God help us all

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