First off, let’s start by saying that parents are pretty awesome people. They’re adorable, caring and all the fantastic adjectives in the dictionary.
Here’s the deal, though: being stuck with your parents during a lockdown with no option of going out makes for a pretty hilarious experience. Sure, there’s free food, and a lot of expenses are taken off your back, but there are certain things that are just so weird, you can’t help but facepalm:
When they scream your name while you’re on a Zoom meeting.
One minute, you’re giving an update on your deliverables, and you hear: ‘Ade, come and fry eggs! Aren’t we going to eat breakfast?’. Your colleagues laugh, and you feel like disappearing.
When your dad starts telling you about COVID-19 conspiracy theories he read on WhatsApp.
You have two options: take your time to debunk each fake story or nod and smile.
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When you wake up to your mum putting anointing oil on your head
Don’t say a word. Just smile and go back to sleep.
When you have to take ‘agbo‘ and all sorts of herbal mixtures
Just drink it, so they won’t say you’re stubborn, dear.
When they ask you to wash your hands before touching their things
I mean, I understand but… I’m also offended…
When they complain about you eating a lot
This is a coping mechanism, mum.
When they complain about you working too much
Lockdown or not, I must work to earn my pay, dears.
When they make you dress up for service in the living room
Just do as you’re told.
When they want to remake every challenge, they see on the Internet
Why? Just why?
When they enter your room at random times without knocking
Some privacy, please?
When they use the free time to slip in conversations about you getting married
You can’t escape this time.
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