What Really Is The Cost Of An Aso-ebi?

What Really Is The Cost Of An Aso-ebi? 

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon; I had just settled in to rest after rounding up my chores and was scrolling through Twitter reading all the hot takes. Suddenly, a notification popped up on my screen; an unknown number had added me to a WhatsApp group. 

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I opened the app to know what it was about and to my not-so-greatest surprise, I had been added to yet another bridal shower group chat. 

“Hi guys, whose wedding shower is this please?” I asked the group 

‘Jola is getting married’ A group member with the name “Dimpled cutie” responds 

Oh! Last I heard from Jola, she was living in The Netherlands and we only ‘liked’ each other’s Instagram posts so why would she feel the need to add me to her bridal shower group? I thought to myself. 

A couple of hours passed, new numbers were added to the group and the group admin addressed everyone. 

“Hello ladies, as you all know by now, our best babe Jola is tying the knot and we have to give her the support she deserves by throwing her a great shower ahead of the wedding and also showing up in style as her Aso-Ebi babes. 

To this effect, we implore you to make your contributions of N20,000 to this account so we can make preparations towards the bridal party. Her sister Jade will be receiving Aso-Ebi payments of N35,000 which will include your fabric, Gele and IV. Caps are available for the men in your life for 5k. I pray God continues to bless and provide for every one of us, Amen. Thank youuu” she said, ending with way too many emojis. 

I read the message and closed the app immediately. Not because I wasn’t happy for Jola but in my opinion, weddings in this part of the world are unnecessarily expensive. I’ve gotten 4 of the same type of requests this year alone and we’re only in the middle of the year. 

You see, when your friends are all becoming adults, being in stable relationships and all, it’s only normal to get requests like this; After all wedding bells accompany stable relationships. But, I’m currently not in a place in my life and finances where I would make such financial commitments without flinching. After many years, I finally landed a good job that pays well enough and has just started to save money. 

The cost of attending these weddings with their terms and conditions would set me back to square 1 financially and I’m not even kidding! Let me break it down for you.

Asoebi 35,000 

Tailor 20,000 

Makeup 15,000 

Transportation 10,000 

Miscellaneous 10,000 

TOTAL N90,000 

Now imagine I did this X4! That’ll be a huge hole drilled in my savings(if there would even be any left) I’ll rather send my best wishes via text than spend a whopping N90,000 for a dress the couple will leave me with that day and I’ll probably never wear it again, might not get small chops, Jollof, or even attract a tall bearded eye candy because I’ll be too grumpy about wasting money I don’t have. 

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “who will come to yours if you’re like this?” If there’s one thing the pandemic taught the world, it is that weddings can be personal, inexpensive and should be significant for just you and your partner. 

A couple of days after, I reached out to Jola to send my best wishes and tell her I couldn’t attend the wedding because it wasn’t a financial commitment I was willing to make at the time. I wasn’t surprised when I discovered she had unfollowed me on Instagram because I exited the group chat and it’s perfectly fine. Maybe our friendship wasn’t worth more than the cost of her aso-ebi. She may eventually come around and forgive me; but you know what won’t forgive me quickly, my depleting bank account!  Sorry babe, I love you but I love me more and I’m putting me first!

What’s the most amount you’ve had to pay for Aso-ebi?