There are certain things that can be considered normal elsewhere, but in Nigeria, they are either funny, weird or abnormal. As a Nigerian, you should act in certain ways and shun others…that’s the thought of some typical Naija man/woman.
Obviously, not all Nigerians think that way, but these 7 things will not go unnoticed in the eye of our lovely typical Naija folk!
1. A poor man with a pot-belly
What sacrilege! You only are allowed to have a pot-belly if you are rich or you have been given a chieftaincy title. But a poor man…? He had better have a genuine, community-approved reason for going about with a big belly and drinking beer is not enough.
2. A dark girl holding an umbrella under the sun
Let the glares begin. Imagine a fair girl lady walking under Nigerian sun and you, brown skin girl, parading with an umbrella. As what now? Salt? Will you melt? If you are already dark, stop forming ‘Ajebutter’ and continue the struggle with us normal Nigerians. Our skin no dey burn…LOL.
3. Going to Ghana and returning to Nigeria with an American accent
Hehehe. Nigerians meet these with guffaws and snickering. Only Ghana, here in our backyard, you will now come back with an American accent? You are setting yourself up for jesting. If you now go to ‘Obodo-Oyibo’ it means no one will understand your English anymore o.
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4. Saying ‘Hi, Mum’ in the midst of elders
‘You don’t have respect!’ How can you be in the midst of Nigerian elders from either your mother or father’s village and say ‘Hi, mum’? You better wait until after they are gone, if you do not want them to talk about how your parents did not raise you right or how spoiled you are.
5. Using fork and knife to eat Amala
‘It cannot be as sweet as when you use your hand’ and ‘Who are you forming for?’ are the kind of comments you might get when you use a fork and knife to eat Amala. Especially if you did that in a Buka. Just respect yourself by yourself.
6. No Aso-Ebi at your party
Hmm, it’s probably because you’re broke…or what possible other explanation will you have for throwing a party (especially in Lagos), you invite bands but no Aso Ebi? Of course, the uniformed attire is not for you. It is for your entitled guest who wants to feel important and close to the celebrant. Maybe.
7. A slim lady jogging
‘Why is she jogging, does she want to disappear?’, ‘She must be a footballer or training for the Olympics’ LOL. These are the kind of comments you sometimes hear when an already slim lady is jogging. You should either be a guy (it’s allowed) or a fat lady trying to lose weight.
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