The Positives and Negatives of Being Raised by Both Parents

By Ebere Lois Chinedum

The upbringing of a child is generally recognized as the responsibility of both parents in any utilitarian society. The reason for this cannot be overemphasized, as it makes for the wholesome growth and development of the child which is often in contrast to when the upbringing of the child is left in the hands of a single parent. However, this does not go to say that there are only positive influences but also negative influences in being raised by both parents.

A child who is being raised by both has a high sense of belonging in society. He or she feels secure and complete, and can easily relate to the experiences as shared among peers. Psychologically, such a child considers himself or herself as being more privileged than those with a single parent.

Again, the child raised by both parents gets to experience life from both sides of the divide; knowing what it feels like to be shown motherly alongside fatherly love and affection, thus filling the void which an absence of one could create. The female child gets to experience what it means to be enlightened on matters that are best handled by a mother while the male child gets to experience the same from the father.

The child is also able to discuss challenges with whichever parent they feel most comfortable with. Just like the saying which goes; “two good heads are better than one”, being raised by both parents affords the child the opportunity to access knowledge from both sources and has a most likely guarantee that if one parent cannot help out, the other would. 

Another positive influence is that there is a greater chance of the child being closely supervised and the parents more involved in their educational and social activities. A child raised by both parents understands gender roles better, unlike the case of single parenting where one parent juggles between the role of both parents and ends up leaving the child with a rather biased opinion about the role of a father and that of a mother. 

The negative influences, however, in being raised by both parents, is that the psychological well-being of the child is often jeopardized when he or she is subjected to being a witness during fight or conflict situation among parents. This sort of situation is a major factor which has negatively affected the behaviour of some children who turn out to be abusive and violent in their own relationships. 

Also, there could be a contradiction in parenting issues and decisions which leaves the child rather confused about which parent to listen to. Being raised by both parents is often the reason behind a child feeling unloved or less favoured by one parent especially when the bond between them is not as connecting as with the other parent. It breeds unhealthy rivalry among siblings and strengthens resentment towards the parent who is believed not to love them. 

Finally, a child raised by both parents is most likely to be overdependent on the parents and have a lower sense of responsibility and more sense of entitlement, especially when his or her demands are comfortably catered for, and the strain of having one parent bear all the burden is not experienced. 

Despite the overwhelming benefits of being raised by both parents, staying together for the children is not always the best choice, especially if the parents are in a high-conflict relationship. Also, single parents are not so different from two parents in terms of behaviour, and raising a child by both parents does not make anyone a better parent. It simply allows the child to access more resources and opportunities.