Change is the most constant thing and it applies to different aspects of life, including friendships. Over time, friendships begin to grow, change and evolve. One minute, you and your friends are complaining about schoolwork and how to get money from your parents. Next minute, you’re talking about the challenges of adulting and trying to adapt to new developments in your lives.
You start to notice how different you are. You and your friends start navigating different trajectories in terms of your lifestyles, interests, jobs and very importantly- your incomes. This is when you notice how money plays a huge role in friendships.
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Take Jola, for example. Her friend, Chioma is finally in town and she’s decided to gather all her close friends from school together for a ‘little’ reunion. Jola is excited to reunite with her friends and she plans to attend.
She arrives at the location- a fancy restaurant she’d never heard of, until now. She greets her friends and glances at the menu. Her jaw drops. The least expensive meal on the menu is way above her budget and will definitely affect her finances for the month. Prior to this moment, she never really noticed how different she was from her friends.
How can you maintain a friendship when inequalities and differences start to take place? Here are some tips:
Focus On The Friendship
Your friendship is more important than money or any other factor. What drew you and your friend (s) together in the first place? What special memories have you shared together? You should hold on to those things and work on building your friendship. Even if your lives have changed in different ways, your friendship shouldn’t.
Don’t Underestimate Yourself
Income and wealth disparities shouldn’t affect the way you view yourself. Your self-worth should not be determined by how much you earn. It’s easy to create a false narrative about yourself that forces you to believe that you aren’t smart or hardworking enough because of your financial standing. Put that behind you, keep grinding and focus on your growth. You’ve got this.
Don’t Underestimate Your Friend(s)
If your friend(s) earns a lower income and doesn’t enjoy the same lifestyle as you do, you shouldn’t use it against them. Avoid talking down on your friends, making snide remarks or weaponizing your privilege. Treat your friends with the same kindness and respect as you did before.
Don’t Take Advantage of Them
In other words, don’t become a freeloader. If your ‘richer’ friend often takes it upon himself/ herself to help you out with cash, buy you gifts or pay for outings, you shouldn’t take it as an opportunity to use them to your advantage. Return favours when you can and avoid burdening them with your needs.
Don’t Give in to Pressure
If your income cannot support the lifestyle your friends enjoy, try to understand that and be comfortable with that for now. You might understandably feel the pressure but it’s in your best interest to avoid giving in to it. Don’t spend above your budget and avoid undermining your financial goals to fit in. It’s never worth it in the end.
Be Thoughtful
Put your friend into consideration when planning outings or fun activities. It’s easy to get caught up in your own bubble that you start to indirectly exclude your friends. Find activities that you can engage in and wouldn’t weigh the other party down financially or put them in an awkward situation.
Have Honest Conversations
Have clear and honest conversations about money and incomes (if you’re comfortable doing so, of course). This helps to establish transparency, letting you know where you both stand financially, so you can work your way around it and ensure your friendship isn’t affected. It also helps you put them into consideration when planning things and provides an avenue to help each other, whatever way you can.
Help Your Friends Level Up
You can connect your friends to opportunities that could help them grow and make more money (as long as they’re LEGAL ?). Friendships thrive when you win and grow together.
Open a Flexx Account
With a Flexx Account, you’re connected to opportunities that help you scale up and match up
with your friends. If you still don’t have a Flexx Account, click HERE!
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