The 2 months I served in Eti-Osa, Lekki!

So, when I first got posted to my PPA, my LGA was Eti-Osa in Lekki, Lagos State. If I had stayed there all through my service year, maybe there wouldn’t have been a need to write this article, but I later got re-posted to Yaba LGA, and I realised that indeed, life is in stages and men are in sizes! Eti-Osa Corpers are not even anybody’s mates. I’ll share some highlights of the amazing things that I experienced in my 2 months there.

• N19800.00 is equal to N198.00!

So, apparently, it is a crime to not collect allowee in NYSC. I never understood this, like who would pass on the N19800??? It was just impossible; not until I went to Eti-Osa. We were on the line for clearance and I was wondering why the line was really short, we were like 30 out of about 100 plus corpers in the LGA. This is when I knew what was happening; one corper came rushing towards the line (Her name must have been Diana or Lisa, very foineee somebody) and asked me what the line was for? I thought she was joking, and I replied, “If you want to stand in front of me, just tell me, everyone knows what the line is for!” I can never forget the way she eyed me and just asked the lady in front of me. The lady just answered Allowee. Diana/Lisa said “What’s that? In my mind, I had insulted this girl to stupor! Is you well? What is what? What is Allowee? Allowee is why we exist sister!!!” The lady in front of me simply explained to her, “It’s like our salary sorta…” This is where I died, Diana/Lisa’s reply was “Ooohhh, that shit, I’ll pass, see y’all next week! This was how I looked for the next five seconds… 

• They call NEPA Electricity!

Hahaha! I am not making this up! We were in the hall one time, and this lady was sitting next to us; apparently, it was her first time at the LGI. Don’t worry, we always know. It shows in everything; you just look lost. We were receiving one of those life draining public lectures and then the power went out, so the mic stopped working (Of course, what am I saying?) The next thing we hear, this girl just shouted; “Was that the electricity?” I wanted to reply “No, it is hurricane” Then I realised she was being very sincere with the question, it was no pretence.

• After CDS, the question is “Where did you park?”

In my Yaba, having a car was the Messi of Football, The Beyoncé of Divas, The Tortoise of Wisdom, The Gala in Traffic, The Tuesday in ICM! In Eti-Osa, it was too regular, almost natural! EVERYBODY HAD A CAR! I am not talking about the Volkswagen and her sisters I saw in Yaba, these ones in Eti-Osa were carzzz! I didn’t even know this till my second week, when I heard what I only hear in church and VIP public functions. We were having a public lecture and then an announcement was made. “If you own the Mercedes E-Class (and three corpers stood up) with the plate number ABC-93GV (then two sat down) …” Since that day, I made up my mind that these ones are not serving abeg! They are being served!

• The LGIs are the Happiest!

I mean, why wouldn’t they be happy? Steady every week, they are being blessed of the Lord! The joy actually can be seen radiating on their faces. Every CDS is a hit back-to-back! At least, 30k per week!

Anyways, I learnt a few things from these blessed beings at Eti-Osa.  Don’t compare to yourself to anyone being the most important! Your “BIG-Mannism” is all about perspective, there are people and situations that would humble you. Lastly, some are corpers (Copper) while others are Gold!