If you didn’t camp in a state, but you were redeployed there for your service year, the least you can do is to know the State Coordinator! For the sake of this article, I would call the two “Not so lucky ladies” Fola and Simi. I really do not blame these two ladies. In my head, their Daddies were the Alhajis Ycee talked about in his song! They were dripping everything wealth when I saw them, even in their “dead” corper uniforms!
I redeployed to Lagos which means I did not camp in Lagos, but I got to serve for my whole year in Lagos. Fola and Simi were also reposted, but I doubt they camped in their previous states, their skin was just too fresh ehh! After redeployment, there’s a bunch of stuff you are meant to do, chief of which was to fill the “Book of Life” in the new state! It was a big deal!
So, we were a week from passing out (finishing NYSC) and we relocated corpers were called to come and sign the Book of Life, if not, there would be no certificate for us. We all went on the first day, and they simply wasted our time. Just about 4 corpers out of over 50 got to sign. On the second day, I understood what corruption and nepotism meant. We were all struggling under the sun, and some people were being served buffet! They would sign everything for them, and just come hand them their clearance code. It was on this day I first noticed Fola and Simi! They ranted about what was happening for some minutes behind and I could tell Fola was really pissed. As we left that day without being attended to, Fola subtly insulted the woman in charge telling her she should have some shame.
On the third day, I went really early, or so I thought till I saw Fola and Simi already waiting. I couldn’t be bothered because I had no concern with them. I simply signed the attendance and joined the queue that already had 10 people! The woman from the previous day came to set the book, and collected the attendance. Today, we were all going to finish because we were going to ensure there was no queue shunting and we were starting pretty early. Everything was going fine and two corners had already signed.
Then the first wahala started; a corper came two spaces in front of Fola and Simi, claiming she came earlier and told her friend to reserve her spot! Fola and Simi shouted at the same time “Over my dead body!” In my head, I was like “Sisters, it’s never that serious!” They were serious though. There was no explanation this girl gave that was good enough, she had to go back to the line that was now twice its initial length. Fola and Simi were still talking and tensed about this lady when we all saw one man walking with two forms to the woman in charge in front.
Before we could say Jack Sparrow, we saw Fola and Simi walk to the front. Then Simi said, “Sir, this cannot keep happening. This is the same corruption that has been happening for the past 2 days. We have a queue Sir, and we would like to follow it today. Thank you.” There was a kind of weird silence that lasted for about five seconds. Then the man smiled and said, “Nkiru (Turning to the woman), sign this forms for me, and let me be going please.” This was when Simi spoke! “Hayy God!!!” was my reaction this time! “Ma, if you sign this form, we would report all this nonsense to your superior. We have tried to reason with you like sensible people but you have refused to be one. That is the State Coordinator’s office just down this hall, I would walk there directly to report to him. We are sick of this….We are…” Then he spoke and said “I am the State Coordinator you idiots, and I promise you both at least three months of extension!” and he walked away.
I have never seen someone get so humble in seconds. Fola and Simi went from Guinness to Nutri-C, from Power to Empire, from Admiralty Way to Mushin really quick. It was epic and too hilarious. They begged without shame and started running after this man and we just continued filling our Book of Life. There was no way those ones were entering heaven, at least not in the next three months!